Herewith, a list of Oakland Athletic nicknames. (Almost none of these are established in any sort of way, of course. It's just what I call guys for this reason or that.)

• Chris Carter: Angel
• Brett Anderson: Junior Cupcakes Little Debbie
• Dallas Braden: 209
• Craig Breslow: The Prof
• Trevor Cahill: Darren
• Fautino De Los Santos: The Mormon
• Trystan Magnuson: Magneto
• Josh Outman: The Out Man
• Brad Ziegler: The Pantless Dwarf
• Landon Powell: Big Boy Tiny
• Kevin Kouzmanoff: GEICO
• Cliff Pennington: Sir Cliff
• Coco Crisp: ... you're kidding, right?
• David DeJesus: The Holy Spirit
• Conor Jackson: Fun Guy (this one's pretty insensitive and may not stick)
• Ryan Sweeney: Swizzle Sticks
• Josh Willingham: The Groundskeeper
• Hideki Matsui: I don't care, as long as it's not Godzilla

(Reader update! Nick Alpers (@NickAlpers on Twitter) suggests "Tiny" for Landon Powell, which I'm down with.)

(My update! "Junior Cupcakes" isn't as funny as "Little Debbie" and both are loving references to our old friend Joe Blanton, so I'm changing that one.